I’ve become such a forgetful person. I don’t know what happened to me, I never was like this. I need to do something about this. I’ve made a list of things I need to buy to keep myself organized. A nice journal with my attitude, one that’s going to motivate me to open it up and write, and the agenda is of upmost importance. I need to keep everything organized including: bill payments (I’ve had lots of late payments and those fees are horrendous), doc and other important appointments, and plans. Well, I hope I’m able to keep everything organized.
I need to buy that book by Anne Lamott Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life. Gayle Brandeis photocopied two small chapters from that book and it was very interesting. She really recommended this book to us. They were titled: Broccoli (she talked about the broccoli inside us), and Radio Station KFKD (or k-fucked). As I was reading this I thought about my own writing and how lately I haven’t really listened to my Broccoli, which I thought wasd normal, but it’s awful for the story and the characters. I’m trying to create. And lately I haven’t really been able to let my mind go and the characters flow out of me. I’ve been “controlling my mind” which is something Lamott said we shouldn’t do. When writing, we should not try to think, it’ll come on its own, at least it should come on its own. When I’m at my laptop and I think I’m going to write this and then think no that’s not a good idea. Or sometimes I’m writing and then I think this could happen later, which I don’t think works for me because then I can’t really let the characters develop by themselves and I want them to show up on their own not, not develop around an event that my mind has developed for them.
I also leave stuff out. I write and erase and etc. La Motte says that we should write it down even if we think it might be us talking and not the character because once we look at the piece as a whole we can decide whether it’s true to the story as a whole or true to the character. I don’t know if that makes sense… if any of this makes sense. I’m just writing. That should be my motto. Just Write It…
I love this... I want to be a kid too.
So, I’m finally done, I didn’t do anything but added images. I have a slow connection and this slow laptop doesn’t help either. I’ve decided to join my learningbaby.wordpress.com blog with this one. I kind of wanted two blogs, keep it seperate and “organized” I thought, but it’s not working for me. I forget about the other blog.
It’s 1:30am, and my baby just woke up, I tried to breastfeed him -it usually puts him back to sleep- but he decided to stay up with me and keep me company. It’s so hot in our room, I hate it. But it’s not our house son it’s not like we can decide on the room, that and the other rooms are taken. When I grabbed Andres from his crib he was sticky, the poor thing, and his head had small beads of sweat. I’m glad have him in his little red sleeveless shirt, which is size 2T and he is only 8 months, but it fits him perfect, not too big. He’s sitting on my lap right now watching me type and wanting to do the same. Adorable.
I have to turn in a short story for the workshop by Saturday night. I really like Gayle Brandeis, she’s such a lovely person. I’ve started writing, but I’m not sure where the characters are taking me. Maybe it’ll lead me past the fifteen pages. If it does I’m going to have to make a note saying it’s part of a larger- unfinished- piece.
I think we should go to sleep now. I don’t want to disrupt Andres’ sleep time.
Filed under baby, General
I don’t know why I am so set on getting this blog into a nice look instead of just writing. I told myself that I needed this for practice… but I feel that once I have somewhere to do it, somewhere where I feel comfortable then I will. It’s weird because it’s kind of the same way in terms of where I am physically. Where I physically sit down to write. It has to be clean and organized. Some days, like today, I don’t have it clean, much less organized and I’m left feeling unable to write.
I think it’s true what Kate, from Jon and Kate plus eight, says: An organized room is an organized mind. I feel that’s completely true, maybe it’s just that seeing something disorganized makes my mind feel so cluttered and exasperated and I feel like I need to take deep breath. Well back to fixing this blog.
I use to have xanga when I was a teenager, and that was the time when I use to read a lot. Everyday. Seriously I read so much, a book a day. I was a complete bookworm. Anyway I was reading my old xanga entries and wondered what happened? What happened to my love for books, for reading, for words in general? I wrote very differently, my writing seemed to be a lot more vivid with images and phrases that I don’t think I would be able to come up with anymore. This is awful! I can’t believe I don’t make time to read, but it’s very difficult for me to read, I do read, but now like the way I use to. I wish I could though but that would mean neglecting other things and I just can’t do that. My baby is my number one priority, and then comes keeping the home a bit tidy.
It’s funny because Gayle told us that we shouldn’t worry about cleaning, sometimes we have to put that aside if we want to really concentrate on our writing. It sounds awful, but it’s one of the things that puts slows us down. I guess if I left my home sloppy and messy then okay. But I’d rather not.
Well my story is going all right. It’s become harder to write detailed images and I’m trying to stay with the flow and pattern I start my story with, but for some reason I’m having a hard time. I’m not feeling it. I felt the begining and some things here and there, but I don’t know why I’m not feeling the story. 😦 feeling a bit gloomy becuase of this. I’ve gotta read.
I’m having some self-esteem issues right now… well regarding my writing. I love to write, but I feel like it’s not good enough, seriously. Right now it’s just horrible. My ideas, my style, my characters, the whole development of a story, and even my grammar. Blogging isn’t going great either, I don’t even know what to blog about. I went on Google (when don’t I) and googled “blog posts ideas”. How lame am I, I had never done that, but lately I’ve been wanting to write but just not felt anything coming to me. I feel weird-don’t quite know how to describe it. To top it off I haven’t read past the first one hundred pages of the The Other Boleyn Girl. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Disappointment is haunting my dreams… but I guess I could say I have an excuse? My seven month old baby. He’s so needy. Love my little dada.
I need to do some writing exercises.
I wanted to post a picture just for the fun of it and for the sake of my blog. Isn’t Max the cutest? He’s my sister in-law’s dog. I swear he is the most innocent of all dogs. No kidding. He has never tried to hump any of the other dogs. I know it’s weird to even say that but it’s true. He’s a sweatheart.