It’s been a week and I haven’t cried… I’ve felt like crying usually when I’m not alone, so I don’t. I was at “work’ yesterday and it was bad. I had to do stuff so I put myself to physically work when my baby fell asleep, and to get my mind off of all that, or at least supress it for later. I scrubbed those floors spotless! I windexed everything, and then my baby woke up and I was working again. I like taking breaks, but not when I”m feeling like this. I have to do something to keep myself from crying or thinking- physical labor usually does it. Though this time I had to scrub harder.

So i put off crying for when i’m alone, at night… but I can’t cry… It makes me laughsometimes because it’s frustrating… I’m like I’m ready to cry now,where are the tears? where are those feelings i had tucked away earlier? away again i guess. haha


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